The G20′s end-game: Destroy humanity then buy a bunker? Seriously?

Holy cow, it clearly sucks eggs to be a Honduran refugee in Tijuana these days. What the freak do they possibly have to look forward to? And, good grief, how I would hate to spend my short miserable life scrounging for blood diamonds in Africa right now. Or being a starving two-year-old living under the Saudi cross-hairs in Yemen? Who the freak would want to do that?

Or I’d even hate to be one of those poor unfortunate souls currently going to Harvard on a student loan. What kind of shite-show future do they have in store?

But worst of all, I would truly hate to be a card-carrying member of the G20. Those people gots no future at all.

“But, Jane,” you might say, “those guys all stay in twelve-star hotels, live on steak and truffles and have French maids to wipe them after they poop. They are wealthy beyond belief.”

Too true.

But what exactly is their fabulous wealth actually based on? War-profiteering? Price-gouging? Stock-market ponzi-schemes? Stealing lunch money form school children? Nah. The bottom line for these guys is that their eye-popping wealthiness ultimately comes from only one thing. “Interest rates.”

These blind fools have all become slaves to interest rates.

If something pays a high rate of interest, then they will always cling to it like Saran Wrap—never ever, ever, ever considering if there are moral costs too. They will never let go of collecting student-loan debts. They will never let go of permanent “war”. They will never let go of receiving government bailouts, creating pollution, drug and human trafficking, “eminent domain,” fond memories of that wonderful 2008 housing crash, hopes for the next huge economic crash about to hit us, big-box stores paying slave wages, privatization, 9-11, whatever. If it creates interest, go for it.

Even if the G20′s latest interest-creating gambit destroys the world? Nuclear explosions? Genocide? Rampant wildfires? Chainsaws? Sure. Why not. These guys can always earn interest by selling new and better bunkers to each other.

But here’s a word of advice. “You need to get over yourselves, G20.” Yours is just not a viable plan. Your insatiable vampire-like lust for interest-rate payback is gonna murder the rest of us for sure. And sadly it will also strangle you in the process too—down there in your well-guarded, well-stocked and elegantly glorified tombs.

Jane Stillwater is a freelance writer who hates injustice and corruption in any form but especially injustice and corruption paid for by American taxpayers. Her latest book is “Road Trip to Damascus.”