Category Archives: Satire

I’m not an Evangelical Christian, lover of Israel, or someone who wants to ban Muslims from entering America. Would never put a kid in a cage or a dog in a box. Continue reading →

I suppose I could have been dreaming it, but my conversation with Donald Trump was as real as anything. He walked into my bedroom like he owned the place, and startled me, still in bed but I felt wide awake. Continue reading →

I met Uncle Sam in a parking garage off 14th street, midway between the Capitol building and the White House. The meeting was arranged by a certain Madam X, who claims to have had an affair with Uncle Sam and prefers to remain anonymous, as the wife is unaware, but, according to Madam X, “a spiteful bitch who can overthrow your regime in a heartbeat.” Continue reading →

I know it sounds incredible, but this is how it happened. . . . Continue reading →

It has become obvious to me that the people of our world just don’t understand us Amerikans. As Hillary Clinton said several months ago, what makes us exceptional is our kindness as a people. Continue reading →

And so it came to pass that on the 1st month of the 20th day in the year of our Lord 2017, Emperor Twitteritus Trumparonious, born in the 6th month of the year of our Lord 1946, improbably snatched the reins of the glorious American Empire from Queen Hilliarious Clintoniosis whom the empire’s military commanders, media propagandists, and many citizens hoped would rule over them. Queen Clintoniosis was guaranteed victory by all the most powerful soothsayers of the land and the court jesters of the day variously known as ‘comedians and journalists. Continue reading →

Calling government charges of a Russian conspiracy to elect an American president “a clear and dangerous policy designed to strip our movement of its supporters,” 911 Truthers, Inc., a subsidiary of Galaxy Conspiracies Corporation, introduced a libel suit against the “far out fanatics of the CIA and major media fake news who think their story of Russian infiltration of our electoral system is on a par with our story of unspeakable, unknowable, unexplainable and unintelligently brilliant plotters who magically took down the twin towers and convinced several billion morons to believe it was done by terrorist “Arabs from caves” can stand up to logic, reason and other stuff we learned at community college and used to prove beyond any semi-reasoning creature with brains larger than a spider’s genitals doubt.” Continue reading →

In a country with a Mount Rushmore that celebrates the ruthless and frenetic westward expansion, it might be a bit naïve to suggest a Do Nothing Day. I have nothing against laboring men and women having their day too; I am a laborer myself, and national holidays are great—so many sales for stuff no one needs. Continue reading →

The US Army Human Terrain System (HTS) will become a “shining star, you’ll see” said a music critic, part-time divinity professor, retired military officer, and former HTS contractor. He was incensed that with the alleged demise of the US Army program, it having been murdered, killed and defeated, the HTS suddenly has new life thanks to “those pro-HTS intellectuals authorized, by somebody higher up in their organizations to take up the HTS cause. Continue reading →

“Branding! We have to make you a brand!” Continue reading →

It was only a matter of time before Santa Claus himself came under the Neanderthal-eyed scrutiny of American intelligence. After all, Santa’s citizenship is unknown, and he crosses borders with no passport or other form of identification. No one knows whether he even has a valid pilot’s license. Continue reading →

Clutching newspaper clippings in one hand and a medical bag loaded with seeds in the other, my ersatz friend Dr. Franklin Peterson Comstock III, knocking down pregnant ladies, students, the elderly, and two burly construction workers who were waiting for a bus, rushed past me, leaving me in a close and personal encounter with the concrete. Continue reading →

Officials in Texas are demanding that the cremains of Thomas Duncan, the first person diagnosed with Ebola on U.S. soil, are criminally prosecuted. Texas Governor Rick Perry is seeking the death penalty, comparing Ebola to both homosexuality and ISIS. Continue reading →

Among the most incredible manifestations of the new sharing economy has been the wide acceptance of a program begun by social media activists that has American families adopting homeless humans instead of pets. While it has created some fear in the multi-billion dollar pet market place, it has also provoked the creation of new product lines for the formerly homeless now living in comfortable accommodations. More important, it has offered citizens a new opportunity to perform humanitarian deeds while really sharing their good fortune with those in need. Continue reading →

I was resting at home when Marshbaum called to ask if I wanted to go with him to look at the lettuce. Continue reading →

Quite righteously, Glenn Greenwald and his sidekick Jeremy Scahill see nothing wrong with Pierre Omidyar having $8 billion, and not using it to house, feed, clothe and heal the poor. No harm, no foul. Continue reading →

Barack was tired. He had just returned from a long trip to South Africa to memorialize Nelson Mandela. He had flown out and back with former President George W. Bush, a man that Barack inherently knew was nothing less than a war criminal. Yet, politics is what it is: A never ending series of compromise and accommodation. Clinton (Bill that is . . . well Hillary too for that matter) had taught him that this was the way it is and that was that, so why bother? It was late and he was really tired. He needed to finish drinking his night cap and go to sleep. After he rang for the White House butler, he gathered up some notes for an upcoming speech and . . . Continue reading →

Recently, I wrote about the program Walmart has put in place to help their less fortunate associates or workers during this holiday season. If you didn’t see it, I described how Walmart has been encouraging some of their more fortunate associates and willing customers to donate canned foods to their colleagues to help them put food on the table for their families. I don’t know about you, but I never expected Walmart to show this much concern. Continue reading →

It was with great surprise and appreciation that I read a news article which described Walmart’s effort to bring joy to its associates (workers) during this holiday season. I feel it’s only right that I re-evaluate my feelings toward Walmart and the Walton family. Continue reading →

The right-wing part of the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, with John Boehner in the role of spineless lackey rather than courageous speaker, has shut down much of the federal government. Continue reading →

Deep inside this country estate, where only the very rich and powerful are allowed in, we were able to tape this meeting held over two years ago. It is more relevant now than ever before! Continue reading →

Clutching a sheaf of newspaper clippings in one hand and a medical bag in the other, Dr. Franklin Peterson Comstock III, knocking down pregnant ladies, students, the elderly, and even two burly construction workers who were waiting for a bus, rushed past me, leaving me in a close and personal encounter with the concrete. Since he had given up medicine to invest in a string of service stations and an oil distributorship, I assumed what was in his medical bag was the morning’s take from obscene profits. Continue reading →

The Jewish Chronicle reported Wednesday that an Israeli man was rushed to hospital after a snake bit his penis during a visit to the toilet. Continue reading →

His face flushed, his cheeks puffing half-syllables of super-heated air, Sen. Porkbelly Fishbottom was about to swallow an aneurysm. Continue reading →

I am Nobody. If that. Perhaps Nobody in particular—just another not very “productive” member of the other 99-percent. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate your astonishing feat of transforming this once racist, imperialist Repoblip or Demogocracy or whatever it was into the Greatest Liberator of Human Souls the world has ever known. Continue reading →

The game of American Politics is played by skilled politicians (called players), but controlled by an elite ruling class of oligarchs (called owners). The game is comparable in many ways to pro baseball, except there are only two competing teams (called Republicans and Democrats). Like pro baseball, 1) the players work for the owners, not for the people who finance the game, 2) the players are well paid (especially highly skilled players), but the big profits go to the owners, and, 3) like baseball, the big profits in American Politics come from the pockets of the masses of people observing the game (called fans). Continue reading →

I hadn’t talked with Marshbaum for a couple of years, ever since he left newspaper journalism for more lucrative work in the fast food industry. But here he was in my office to ask if I would publicize his new educational adventure. Continue reading →

An employee who had worked at Amalgamated Security Systems for twenty-five years and was slated to receive his pension in two weeks was accused of murdering his boss when he was threatened with being fired. Continue reading →

Good evening, my fellow Americans. I’m here tonight to clear up some misperceptions about Operation Fast and Furious. Many of you are confused, even angry, and I fully understand. Why did the United States sell thousands of guns to vicious Mexican drug cartels, so that they could kill many people, including Americans? Doesn’t this make us accomplices to murders? Continue reading →